Repsonse to a Reader Comment on Modesty

I received an anonymous comment from a former reader who pointed out that my outfits have gotten immodest. I think maintaining modesty is important for all of us, so I'm opening this up for discussion. The comments are as follows:

Ok, I just have to comment on this dress. You don't have to post this comment publicly, since it's intended for you and not to embarrass or humiliate you. I have followed you for a long time because you say you are a Christian and so am I. I stopped following however, when some of your poses and clothes became very risque. This dress is very immodest, and you should know that.
4:51 PM

nic said...
To Anonymous: I'm sorry I'm not as conservative as you. I am a Christian, and am so sorry to offend you. I am wearing a cami underneath this dress that is beige. Perhaps you thought I was just wearing a low cut dress? The cami covers everything. I do have standards of modesty. I always ask the men in my life (brothers, husband, father) if something is immodest and I don't wear anything that my husband doesn't approve of. As for my poses - I am sorry that these offend. I will try to smile more, but I'm not sure other than the look on my face, how the poses could be risque.
7:23 PM

Anonymous said...
Again, you don't need to post this publicly if you don't want to. I am in no way trying to embarrass you. You are correct, the cami is invisible in that picture. Immodesty is not something I go around pointing out, and I did so in this case only because you are so vocal about your Christianity, and you are representing the body of Christ. It isn't offensive only to me. We are to be a light in this dark world, reflecting God's holiness in all things, including manner of dress. How can we shine when we look/dress just like the world around us? God's world tells us to "come out from them (the world) and be ye separate", and "he that is friends with the world is at enmity with God". Wearing a low cut dress or skin tight Miley Cyrus jeans draws attention to those body parts that were intended for your husband's eyes only, and that isn't modest. It isn't the lack of smiling that is risque. Often it just appears to me that you are trying to look like a "sexy" model, and sexy is for your husband. It is not always easy today to find the right balance of chic and chaste/modest, but as Christian women we have that responsibility. I hope that is helpful. God Bless You, Nic.

My response:
Thank you for your comments. Modesty is something I strive for and I appreciate the accountability.

As a Christian, we each have to follow our convictions based on God’s leading through Scripture on each issue we face in this world – modesty being one of them. If you’re interested in the specific Scriptures I base my beliefs off of or want to discuss this further, please email me at DomesticSophisticate@gmail.com . Generally, though, my conviction is that as a woman, it is my responsibility to look like a chaste/modest woman in order not to offend, seduce, or cause a brother to stumble. Since I don’t see myself the way men do, I rely on the Christian men in my life (husband, father, and brothers), to point out anything that might be immodest. Sure, I have a set of rules, but rules cannot always ensure modesty. For this reason, I allow my husband to overrule my own personal modesty rules. Nevertheless, I know my husband's and my judgment on the matter has not always been perfect, and I have had to get rid of clothes that I realized too late were inappropriate. I didn't see the Miley Cyrus jeans as being immodest before, since my tunic covered my bum - but now that you pointed it out, I can agree with you that they are inappropriate for me.

While I do have convictions of modesty, I don't think that means that I cannot look beautiful or attractive. One of the points I try to make in having this blog is to show the world that you don’t have to give up on style and beauty when you have children. You can be a stay-at-home-working-from-home-mom and still look attractive. I'm not trying to look like a sexy model - I'm trying to look effortlessly attractive (obviously I don’t always achieve this, but this is what I shoot for). In my poses I simply try to look wistful or romantic in an effort to avoid a fake smile photo.