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I tried to prepare myself for being overdue by telling myself and others that I would be super late again like I was with my last pregnancy, but I couldn't help but hope that that last pregnancy was just a fluke - that this pregnancy would be different. I had a really good attitude during the whole of my last pregnancy, but for some reason I just can't seem to keep a clear perspective with this pregnancy.
Honestly, I am extremely depressed that I am this late. I am upset that my doctor's tell me a different story each time about how far they will let me go or what they will do to induce me, and I am doubly discouraged over all the false or prodromal labor I've been having. Every night I think this might be it, and every morning I wake up still pregnant. Looking back these extra couple of weeks won't mean a thing, but right now I'm in the throes of heightened hormone surges, lots of body aches, tons of contractions, icky morning sickness that seems to get worse each day, and sleepless nights.
I know the right answers to all of this. That it is good to let my body progress naturally. That a baby will come when it's ready, regardless of your due date. That due dates don't really mean anything. That I am perfectly healthy and normal. That inductions aren't safe for a VBAC. That it is so worth it. That I should just be so grateful that our baby is healthy and that so am I (the list of positives could go on and on) . . .
In hopes of getting myself out of this slump, I spent the morning hemming this new dress I bought last weekend and have decided to take my children to their school co-op and attend my husband's work party tonight. With make-up, styled hair, and a new dress, I'll at least look like I'm handling all this well. Maybe by the end of the day I will have convinced myself of all of these positive thoughts that are really in fact the truth and what I should be thinking.
Until then, your thoughts and prayers for a grateful heart, a cheerful attitude, and a more self sacrificing love for this incredible blessing God has given me would be much appreciated!
Dress - Liz Lange Maternity for Target - $10
Sweater - Banana Republic - hand-me-down
Cuff and watch - gifted
Earrings - hand-me-down
Clogs - Macy's - $21