4/06/2009

Answer to a reader question

Hi, I just found your blog and I think it is a really cute idea. PLEASE don't take this as a bad or mean thing, I am really curious to know how you have the time to dress up, do hair and makeup and take a picture with a toddler in the house. When my kids were toddlers I couldnt even take a shower, most days I never got out of my pjs and make up was a distant part of my history. Please dont think this is negative, I really want to know

I'm not offended at all! That's an honest question and I'm happy to answer.

1. You will find that you will always have time for whatever you make your priority. Dressing nicely and doing my hair and make-up is a priority for me. Some days I don't get to it, but most days I do, because I make the time to do it.

2. I grew up as the oldest girl of 11 children (I have one older brother). I'm used to carrying a baby on my hip, while a toddler is crawling at my feet, and a 4 yr old is tugging at my sleeves asking me for lunch. Now that I have only one child, I feel I have a TON of time, more so than when I was single and working full time and in law school full time! I still work full time from home as a paralegal, but find myself with plenty of time in the day to get dressed nice.

3. Sometimes I only get dressed at whatever time a day I need to. This means that sometimes I don't get dressed until 3PM (just before I run out to get the groceries). I may have spent all morning and most of the day in my PJs while working, but I always take 10 to 20 minutes to get ready before I head out the door.

4. Call me old fashioned, but my way of showing my husband that he is a priority to me is by caring about the way I look for him. I always want my son to see that his father is my first priority. A happy marriage is a happy family. So if that means my son has to manage without me for 20 minutes a day while I primp - so be it. It shows my son that I care enough about his father and even him to consider the way I look on their behalf.

5. The way I train children (my Mom taught me how to do this with my siblings, and I did it with my son) is to be independent and not be demanding of my time. I sleep trained my son to sleep at least 8 hours through the night as soon as he weighed enough to do so (he was 4 weeks old). Then, I taught him to play by himself by leaving him alone (in a safe environment and within my eye sight), and not coming to him as soon as he needed something. It taught him that he can't have Mommy for just any old reason, and now he plays by himself quite nicely while I get work done around the house, work as a paralegal, and of course, take time to get dressed.

Now, this doesn't mean I ignore my son all day, or anything like that! We have a lot of "mommy" time, but it does mean that I have set boundaries for my son so that he is not so demanding of me. This leaves me with plenty of time to get dressed. :-)

Also, my circumstances of having only one toddler, and a toddler who happens to be very compliant, may be totally different than what you went through. Maybe you had twins, or you had a cholic infant. I don't know what your circumstances were, but I can certainly understand why a mom may not have time to get dressed up every day, and don't think anything is wrong with that. Being a mother is a wonderful thing and that should certainly take priority over primping in front of the mirror! I'm sure your children are very grateful for the time you invested in their lives...there is always time later when they are grown to get dressed nice!

-Nic

Not taking negatively at all! I grew up in a family of 11 children (I'm one of the "older" kids) and lets just say I learned how to multi-task. I only have one child who is two. When she naps, or if she is happy, that is when I get dressed and do my make-up. Sometimes she is crying in the back ground but I never leave her for very long. She is a good kid and loves to help "dress mommy" and play in my shoes while I get ready, etc. That's not to say I haven't answered the front door with only one eye done in make-up and the other half of my face un-done...but I usually can find at least 15min to put on clothes and get dressed.

-Missi

10 comments:

  1. I love these honest responses and am so grateful for your example and perspective.

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  2. WOW!
    I truly commend you, I hope I can be half as good as you when I finally have my own kids. Thanks for sharing this with us!!!

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  3. Great responses. I was one of those mothers who let myself go and was not happy with myself. I make getting dressed nicely and makeup a priority now. I feel better about myself and in turn my son has a happy and more productive mother.

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  4. I have 4 kids, ages 9, 7 and 2 year old twins and I manage to look put together everyday, it can be done!! For me I don't feel comfortable in sweats and t-shirts outside of the house. People always say I look put together and I used to take that to mean that I had too much time on my hands, I've since learned it's a compliment. Having pride in your appearance is a great thing!

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  5. Great post and great answers! I always wonder what will happen to my appearance when I have children. =) You guys are definitely an inspiration for me!!

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  6. Wow - your blog is absolutely fabulous! I think it's great to see young moms encouraging women to stay fashionable - so I've added you to my MFB Network index - http://mfbnetwork.blogspot.com/

    Love the blog! :)

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  7. That was a great question with great answers! I also have a 2-year-old. I don't look as good as Nic and Missi do everyday, but I do put on my makeup, put on clothes I could at least run errands in (usually jeans and a decent shirt), and how much I do to my hair depends on what is on the agenda for the day. I find it easiest to get ready before my daughter wakes up in the morning. I can always touch myself up later, but at least I've done the majority before she gets up.
    Your blog is inspiring -- keep up the good work! I just wish I could go shopping with you two. ;-)

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  8. Just found your blog through mfbnetwork and love what you had to say here. I guess I am a little old fashion too, I didn't think it was old fashion though! haha....I think it is important for us moms to take care of ourselves. I feel better when I've taken that extra time to make me look better. Even if it means getting up a little early to make myself look great for the day. I look forward to checking out your blog. Thanks!

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  9. Loved these answers, ladies. And the commenters were good, too. I am another one of those people who doesn't leave the house in sweats--it's just not me!

    I've heard it said it takes just as much time to put on sweats and a t-shirt as it does a skirt or cute jeans and a nice top. I find that a little planning (laying things out the night before, or at least thinking about the day and mentally putting together an outfit) and getting ready while my 10-month-old daughter takes a nap works best for me.

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  10. i agree with you here. i'm not a mother yet, but I have been unemployed the duration of my young marriage. I make a point to look nice, even though several ppl have said to me what's the point. lol. if i don't look nice for him, then why bother?

    I also was the older girl with 8 yrs bw me and my 3 littl ebrothers (1 set of twins). I've accustomed to multi tasking and can genuinely say that a child or baby can be fine for the 20-30 mins it takes to put on clothes and a face.

    I only truly style my hair once or 2x a week. all the other days, my hair looks fine. (i'm african american so my hair routine is probably very different from a caucasion)

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-Vanessa